Chapter 12 : Sinful Love
Azumi is back from Kikuchi’s rehabilitation. He’s heading towards the nurse room. He sneaked a peek into the room from the door that slightly opening, but a nurse came out all of sudden surprised him a little. Feeling a little embarrassed, he asked the nurse about Rin.
“Oh? Rin has left not very long ago…” when she’s about to leave but,
“Eh? Demo…” he glanced at his watch – it’s half an hour before her shift ends, though.
“Ohh yeah. I forgot. Chotto matte!” while she rushed back into the room and got a white envelope in her hand.
“Kore. She asked us to hand it to you before she left” and she left as the envelope switched into his hands.
* * *
He just followed his instinct reaching out for her. She’s nowhere insight, but he knows she would be still in the hospital – somewhere. As he getting closer to the Director’s room, he could see someone heading towards his direction. She tried to change her direction but it’s too late.
“Kore… nani??” he’s out of his breath – effect of rushing or perhaps, he’s smothered by the fact written on the piece of paper inserted in the envelope – Rin’s resignation letter.
“Azumi…”
“What is it all bout?”
“I guess you’ve read it then, so…” she was snatched aside as she’s trying to getaway.
“Your letter told me nothing! Now tell me what is it?” a slight anger slowly raised on his face.
“Azumi…” as she began to tears. She herself isn’t sure why she’s crying but the tears perhaps cool him down a little, before he could asks,
“Don’t you have any words to me? You didn’t tell me any single thing yet you’re now trying to disappear just like that? Have I done something hurts you? So that you don’t even want to face me anymore?”
“Sou jya nai… sou jya nai” she shook her head few times lightly.
“Ii yo. I shouldn’t ask the things you don’t want to say. I should have known you will tell me anything if you want. Gomen” he pretends to leave. But his arm is in someone’s grab now.
“How could I say… I’m in love with my own blood? The more I tried to forget it the more it comes. I’m about to lose my mind now. What do you expect me to do rather than to leave?” and now his turn to shook his head as he has no slightest idea on the things she said.
“I…I’m sorry but… I couldn’t…”
“Come with me then”
That was my first to see her crying. I never see her teardrops neither her eyes teary since I’m here. And I was dragged to the records and data room for I couldn’t believe what my eyes telling me now. Was it just an illusion on my optic or… the lies written to fool my mind?
“Tell me what do you see” as she opened the files – one is her and another is his.
“Uso darou…”
I’m afraid I’m the one who look it that way. Perhaps my eyes are fooling me since back then. I always hope they’re all lies, but they aren’t. It’s totally crazy… for the first time I seriously fall in love to, my first love… was my brother. The more I resist, the more I want. The more I love you, more sins I made. Please, tell me what should I do? – Rin’s talking mind.
He closed his eyes for he couldn’t bear what they’re seeing. It’s like the family portrait he saw on that day and the data on the files in his hands now lay in heap in his eyes.
“So that it’s originally in my blood… which brought me here?” as he closed the files and looked into her teary eyes. She hesitated and restrained herself from it, but somehow she loses to herself – sliding herself closer into him, leaning her head on his chest.
“I guess you still remember that portrait, uhm? And I remembered you mentioned on your mom’s photo…” she quit to pull a distance from him. Though they’re closed, but she felt shy to do this.
“Uhm. I wonder if it’s still in the orphanage…” their eyes met in agreement – to find it as the last proof.
* * *
Kikuchi will be discharged today. She is not fully recovered, but at least she can walk without walking stick for supports. And Fukada is the happiest man on earth today to see her recovery. Few nurses were in the room since now to bid her farewell. It seems someone important behind the recovery is missing. So that Kikuchi asked,
“Ah, excuse me… I need to go to restroom” while the truth is, she’s just making a reason to slip, looking for someone – you know who.
“Azumi…san” she voiced when she sure the figure who is back facing her now is the one she’s looking for.
“Ahh. Kyou, go-tai in desu ne? Odaiji ni shite kudasai, Kikuchi-san” he’s using formal words that he hasn’t use before while talking to her.
“Ima made arigatou. Azumi no okage da ne?” she smiled, but he gave a light bow before making a move to leave.
“Azumi… gomen.” She continued, and he stopped.
“U~uhm. I’m the one who should say that. I shouldn’t make Fukada-san worried about his fiancée” he didn’t realize his tone is changing when he mentioned the guy’s name. And she feels like a scratch just been made when she heard the word “fiancée”.
“Sorry, but Fukada isn’t my fiancé” she paused to see his doubting face,
“Not really my fiancé… my late Mom arranged on that before she passed away. My dad had no objection towards that…”
“De? Why you have to tell me all this?”
“I just… want you to know I don’t have any feelings towards him”
“Why you have me to know this?”
“I… don’t want you to misunderstand me”
“Why would I misunderstand you?” question by question he purposely asked are just to hurt her. The words from Fukada on that day are still fresh in his mind. And those words have made him to behave like this now.
Kikuchi remained silent. She couldn’t find any right words to answer him anymore. Not to confess the truth on what she has on her mind now.
It’s because… the one who has my heart now is…. You said to me, I never lose… but I’m losing my heart to… you. – Kikuchi’s whispering heart.
“Fine. I think I should go now. Thanks… for everything” she bowed to her waist for few seconds. Though it hurts to stretch herself in that way, his words are thousand times hurting than that…
I’m not sure why I’m like this… but it’s hurt to know you’re someone’s… especially him. I should have mirrored myself before I feel this way… who am I?
And the two moved, heading into opposite directions…
**********************
Word List
1. Demo… = But…
2. Chotto matte! = Wait a minute!
3. Kore… = This…
4. Nani? = What?
5. Sou jya nai = It’s not like that!
6. Ii yo = Fine…
7. Gomen = Sorry
8. Uso darou… = It must be kidding me…
9. Kyou, go-tai in desu ne? = You are discharged today right?
10. Odaiji ni shite kudasai = Please take care of yourself
11. Ima made arigatou = Thanks for everything (spoken/informal)
12. ~ no okage da ne = It’s all because of your kindness.
13. De? = Then? / So?
To be continued…
hu~ is it true they are blood related???wonder who is rin’s adopted sister..
hmmm, the DNA info or such for the two is completely matching – this is actually the strongest proof. no one would have similar DNA like us except our own blood related person.
but as humans, Rin & Azumi tend to know it by more natural – from photos, from history of each others
Rin’s adopted sister? she’ll be just a “cameo” in my story, so i didn’t mean to write much on her
Poor Kikuchi… Wanna express her love yet holding it back… And Azumi like pushing her a miles away. Huhu~ Rin feelings to Azumi would not be able to convey properly with that obstacle in between.. But it might be for the best. Seriously… this sleepiness is making me think and talk nonsense. I don’t even know what I am trying to say here.
. Anyway, Keep up the good work!
after all Kikuchi is a girl, full of shyness etc.
and Azumi is a boy, no matter it’s much or a little, the “ego” must be there – beneath his skin.
not to mention after being “challenged” by Fukada like that..the one who seemed to purposely put him in trouble, while he’s innocent to help Kikuchi…
the conflicts were originated underneath their minds…not really physically.